A suggestion of Time.

Here you are.

And here I am.

And at this moment, you are what I have.


Now what am I going to do with you? Someone put you here in my head unintentionally and now here you will stay. Locked in here rolling around and mixing yourself in with all my other thoughts, irreversibly linking yourself to the rest of my mind and its reaches until there is not one thought, not a single musing to be had without your self stamped all over it. You are a sly notion as well, you creep in when my head is empty and you'll crawl into my dreams tonight where I won't be able to control you. You'll run rampant and I'll wake up sweating and panting and maybe I'll cry out hoping you aren't truth. I'll hope you are part of my imagination, a result of fear that breeds new fear. I'll pray you are a creation of my uncertainty and not a fact. You have been suppressed for three months, written-off for three months, passed over for three months in the hope that I would be strong enough to deal with you only when I absolutely had to, the hope that I could be steady and confident enough to withstand your assault when the time came. I thought I could do that. I hope I still can...but you scared me tonight. You caught me off-guard when I was vulnerable and I showed my weakness. I showed my weakness to the very one who proposed you. I hope it wasn't as unsettling to him as you were to me. I fought the heavy stinging tears that you brought to my eyes and I could not look at him. I couldn't think of you, the possibility of you, the reality of you. I can't decide if I'm about to face you or that you have slowly crept up on me, but I know that I'm not ready to do either. I have the memory of my red eyes and his tender scolding to remind me of how unsteady I am.
A silly girl.
The fear of a year will be the end of me.

He said "Well look at it this way".
And I tried, but it was a meager portion of comfort I couldn't stomach.