If you have to remind yourself of all the reasons you should be happy, it defeats the purpose.

Still trying to get my life on track. I signed up for sewing classes, and I may try to find some more things I can take - a business class or two. I don't know. I'm trying to work towards this goal I set for myself and I'm already getting impatient.

I've an offer I shouldn't refuse to go back to Texas and work towards grad school from Dallas. To be fair, instead of outright refusing, I made massive pros and cons lists. The cons still outweigh the pros. I can't go back to Texas. Not now. I just need a better job and things will be better.

As far as my personal life, things took a strange turn - you know those moments where something very small happens, something so tiny it almost doesn't feel worth mentioning, and then moments or hours later the actual weight of what happened sets in? The great Dane Cook calls it 'brain ninja'-ing. This guy I'm dating and I are very culturally different, and I was forced to deal with it head-on for the first time a few days ago. On the ride home, I just kept thinking "where is my simple little life?" Why can't he and I just run away from all of it and be together without worrying about who will see us or who knows or who is saying what. At what point did I sign up for everything being so damn difficult? A lot of things come easily to me, but this is ridiculous.

Sometimes I feel like I need a therapist if for no other reason than to help me organize my thoughts. Maybe to also help me from going professionally stir crazy.