Great change came and it went, with a much-a-do hullaboo about it. I moved. The most difficult and financially draining process of my life. Emotionally exhausted, I moved in to a studio further into Queens and have found it surprisingly lovely. The neighborhood is nice, the commute is quick and nearly painless. I am close to everything I need.

Still haven't gotten a better job, but I'm working on that - well, will be working on that now that I have some free time again. When I say some free time, I mean very little of it.

Love is difficult. As always. This is somehow (I know how) worse than ever before. Let's be more honest than usual and still not as honest as 'completely honest' and say that I am not happy and I once again feel stuck in a situation that doesn't seem to be getting any better no matter what I try to do. I'm at the point now where I just want to grab someone by the collar and scream at the top of my lungs all the things I want to say, but dont (because nice people don't say things like those). It's incredible how people can ask one thing or another of you and not take their own advice into account.

I need to get my priorities straight. If I'd had them straight to begin with I might not have moved to new york in the first place. I don't think I've ever said "first things first" to myself, so maybe that's part of my problem. Following my gut when my gut is wrong.